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Top Five Peeves about Writers…and Other Stuff

10

March 28, 2011 by Renee

Perhaps I’m getting cynical, or maybe I always have been, but I often find myself irritated at various writers in various situations for the same damn reason every time. My family and friends also say I’m irritated by pretty weird stuff in general, so I thought it might be fun to list what annoys me most about writers, and other stuff.
Writers

5. Self published writers who claim they didnt’ go traditional because, “I just want to be read.”

Really? Is that all? That’s why you’ve spend months with that chunk of paper? So someone will read it? Okay, get a beta reader and be done with it. Someone read it, you are fulfilled. Right? If you just want to be read, don’t charge for your book when you do self publish it. That would make it get real read, real fast. After all, you aren’t in it to make money, right?

4. Writers who claim that they refuse to write in __________ genre or ___________ POV, because all but the genre/POV they have chosen are wrong and will not sell.

Let’s be honest, you don’t write in that POV or genre because you a) tried and failed, or b) don’t care to try and fail. Writing off an entire style of writing simply because you decide it is inferior is seriously limiting yourself. Hey, I don’t care if you want to do that, just don’t try to tell me that the POV or genre I choose is wrong or won’t sell, because at some point, I will prove you wrong. (actually, someone probably already has)

3. Writers who are unpublished/self published who claim traditional publishers are against them/us/you and will only publish established authors. In particular, seasoned authors (who should know better) who recommend to new authors that they give up trying before they even start.

COME ON! Okay, so it may not be for you, or perhaps this route is too hard for you or you don’t have the patience or the time to wait for your work to be appreciated, or to learn what you need to in order to write something good enough for a traditional publisher. Traditional publishers want something they know will sell. It’s a business folks. They treat it as such. It’s tough, it’s frustrating, it’s enough to make one want to build a bomb and…never mind. But traditional publishing isn’t going anywhere and no one is ‘against’ new writers. They’d love to get their hands on a fresh new talent who they can slap on the marketing train to a big payday. It’s our job to make sure they see that new author in our work.

2. The “I know all, have done all, and you can’t tell me differently because I have so much experience that I can’t possibly fail.” writer.

Piss off. That is all.

1. Writers who don’t want critique, but keep asking for it.

This type of writer annoys the shit out of me. The most annoying, although pretty close to number two for me. You know what? If you don’t want critique, feedback or suggestions, don’t join writing groups, workshops or classes. Just don’t. Don’t waste the time of those who want to learn and who want to improve their novels. Real writers know that offering gushing reviews full of rainbows and butterflies is not helpful and they just won’t do it. Lazy writers want accolades and love. Listen, if you want someone to pat you on the back for your brilliance, then let your friends and family read your writing, not serious writers. Do I sound especially upset about this? I am. I’ve read manuscripts for writers (at their request) and offered feedback, suggestions, etc. that have been completely shot down or, in a couple of cases, insulted. I don’t have a lot of time on my hands. I read because I learn from it and I like doing it. But if you’re not wanting honest, no bullshit kind of feedback, don’t waste my time. These people, I will never read for again. I see them in writing groups as well. They post something and as soon as they get feedback, they’re all over it. “Well it’s the style I prefer. I know its passive but passive is a subjective thing.” No, it is not. Shut up. If I notice these responses in writing and critique groups, I simply don’t read or comment on their work ever again.

Other Stuff

5. Stupid Commercials

Yep. The Robaxacet commercials with those faceless puppet things with the pins in them? Hate those, can’t even watch them. I’ll leave the room if I don’t have the remote. I also hate obnoxious radio advertising and car commercials that always seem to be completely irrelavent. I change the channel just to avoid watching car advertising. Oh, and that Tide commercial. Cold weather is a Canadian sport? No self respecting Canadian would ever say they’ll stay inside and wait for warmer temperatures? It’s not because we LIKE the cold, stupid. If we waited for a warmer day in the winter, we’d never go outside. We certainly don’t say “Oh, it’s -30. Awesome! Let’s go see who can freeze their nuts off faster.” Dumbest commercial ever.

4. Close Talkers, Touchers, and Huggers

It’s called personal space for a reason people. Don’t crowd mine and you’ll keep your face intact. Close talkers bother me because I don’t like people breathing in my face or on me. Is that weird? Probably. I will wake up from a deep sleep if the person next to me turns to face me. I can’t handle that at all. Touchy people who are always picking lint from my clothes, touching my arm/hand/other body part, or fixing my hair or makeup drive me bonkers. I’ve ended friendships because I just couldn’t handle it. Seriously. Why do people do this? I can handle relatives and kids doing this because I guess it’s normal, excusable. But if you aren’t blood or too young to know better, just keep your damn hands to yourself. Last, the huggers. Ugh. Just keep away.

3. Waiting Rooms.

I’m impatient. I make no excuses for it. I just am. I hate waiting for anything. Putting something in the microwave kills me. One whole minute? Gasp! When I make an appointment, why is it so hard for the person on the other end of this arrangement to see me at the specified time? If you consistently ‘run over’ on all of your appointments, accomodate for this. I mean, you do this daily, learn how to schedule your time a little better. Five minutes to twenty minutes, I’m pretty okay with, but longer? You’re lucky I’m sick/in pain/have obvious roots because if I didn’t, I’d so walk out. Actually, I have walked out a few times.

2. Spontaneous Visitors.

Call. Before. You. Visit. Me.

1. Feet

My feet, your feet, their feet – all feet are nasty. Don’t touch mine. Don’t touch me with yours. Definitely don’t touch my feet with your feet. (shudders) We’ll get along just fine. I have become violent over this issue. Even my kids don’t mess with feet. No, I’ve never been violent with them. They just seemed to ‘know’ that feet were a no-no for Mommy. Oh, is that terrible? I don’t care. Like those of you who wash your hands obsessively and grease down your grocery cart with a bottle of sanitizer before shopping (WTF? How do you eat the food you buy from those dirty shelves? Do you know where it’s been?) I have my foot quirk. We’re all entitled to a tiny bit of OCD aren’t we?

So, that’s my top five peeves about writers and other stuff. I’m proud of myself. I didn’t get all nasty…well not real nasty, and I kept profanity to a minimum. There are specific writers who piss me off, but I’ll save that post for another day. What are your writer and stuff peeves?

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10 thoughts on “Top Five Peeves about Writers…and Other Stuff

  1. Writing stuff: Writers, who after they read your crit feel they have to argue or explain each point in the crit. If it didn’t come through in the story, explaining it after the fact won’t help your case. If you don't like my analysis, don't ask for feedback. Other stuff: I’m with you on spontaneous visitors. I live in the middle of nowhere because I LIKE my solitude. If I wanted drop-ins, I would’ve moved to the city. I love visitors and enjoy having them stay with me, but you must give me advance notice or I’ll stick a shovel in your hand and make you clean the animal pens.

  2. Twills says:

    THE MCDONALD'S LIPSMACKING COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Renee Miller says:

    I forgot the McDonald's lipsmacking commercial; the most annoying commercial on the planet!!

  4. Renee Miller says:

    @Maria; Sounds perfectly logical to me. I mean, how hard is it really to just pick up a damn phone. Mostly, I hate it because it sticks a wrench in my whole day. Do not throw off my schedule.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Writer peeves: I can't stand writers (or authors) who act as if they were The Shit, the superhuman, humanity's Über-Ego itself, and simply too good to have a normal conversation with you on any other topic than their absolute genius. Yes, I know a few of those. They waste so much time admiring themselves and the hardships of genius and true art they have to face each day, that they somehow never find the time to actually finish a work, never mind having it published. Other stuff: People who can't or just won't spell things right. I don't care that it's a text message, a blog, a GR group thread — learn how to spell, or to abbreviate correctly if you need the space! Check it in an online dictionary, all it takes are two clicks, damn it! (Occasional mistakes due to English not being the native language are totally forgiveable.)Great blog, Renee! ;)Warm greetings from across the pond,Xariexis

  6. Renee Miller says:

    Haha, I love that. "The Shit". Yes, I know a few of those too. Can't believe they slipped my mind. I should have made it a top ten list. I get quite annoyed at obvious laziness with spelling. A typo or whatever is fine, but those who do it on purpose? Grrr. My daughter and her friends do this and it drives me crazy. However, they're 12, so I'm willing to let it slide. Adults? Yes, get a dictionary.

  7. When you're technologically challenged and it takes a full five minutes to text how you're feeling in response to a polite, "How are you?", the abbreviated text type is wonderful. U no? Otherwise, I agree. It's very easy to type with a keyboard and annoying as hell to read on Facebook or emails, let alone try and figure out. It looks childish and too much like you're trying to be hip. Hahaha. Good post!

  8. Renee Miller says:

    Aimee;The abbreviations are expected in texting, right? Which is why I don't text. It would send me over the edge. But when posting in forums or on Facebook, as you said, it's annoying as hell.I will confess that sometimes, when I'm in a rush, I've used the ole WTF, LOL, OMG, etc. I hate myself in the morning, but just had to do it.

  9. Mike Keyton says:

    I'm still pondering on your hatred of …feet.

  10. Renee Miller says:

    Is that weird? I don't think so. The idea of a foot massage is horrifying, that's how much I hate them. But other people hate feet too…I'm not alone.

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Renee

Renee

I like to write stuff. Sometimes it's funny. I've published some novels and short fiction. I also battle an addiction to cake and potato chips, and I sometimes have inappropriate fantasies involving Kevin Spacey.

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