Well, circle time is always fun on the edge, don’t you think? I do. Here, grab a stool, tell Clive what you’d like to drink and let’s share. What are we sharing this time? I thought we could play a little game. Well, not really a game. Sort of. Okay, it’s a game.
Imagine you have your favorite author sitting in front of you. He’s on his fourth margarita, and feeling the punch. You’ve softened him up with your charm and your wit, and he’s pretty much willing to tell you anything. (I’ll tell you a secret; I’m having a hard time imagining my favorite author. Clive all liquored up keeps creeping into the chair. I need help.)
Anyway, you can ask this author anything. I mean absolutely anything, and he’ll answer your question honestly. If he doesn’t…let’s say it doesn’t end well for him. Tell me, what five things would you want to know?
Now, let’s switch the fantasy to your least favorite author. One that annoys the shit out of you. Just the fact that he continues to breathe and write makes you want to smother tiny fluffy things. Same set up, what 5 things would you ask him?
*Note: Or her. Perhaps it’s a female. I don’t know. Him was simpler and all this politically correct he/she nonsense drives me batshit. My favorite is a man, so there you go. Suck it up.
Favorite Author (I have too many so I won’t name names and you don’t have to either)
1. Do you think there is a difference between “author” and “writer”?
2. A lot of writers claim they write to ‘be read’ and not to make money. Do you buy that? Why or why not?
3. Ebooks: The end of the paperback or a bunch of bullshit?
4. What advice would you give a newb about the publishing industry (and none of this keep trying crap, the truth)?
5. Which author makes you jealous and why?
Least Favorite Author (again, there are so many, I won’t name names)
1. What were you thinking when you wrote _______________?
2. Do you really feel you write well or did you just get lucky?
3. What’s the difference between an author and a writer?
4. Can you really justify charging people $____ for your book and wasting _____ hours of their life?
5. Is there a publishing couch? (because seriously, it’s the only thing that explains the exisitence of some bestsellers to me)