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Twitter Tuesday

5

August 30, 2011 by Renee

I had three posts written to publish today and I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to post. Mostly they were very informative, writer-type posts. But you know, I think I’ve had enough seriousness for one week. Let’s have a little fun. Sometimes I read through my Twitter feed just to see how sane/insane I look to other people who might (gasp) judge me on my tweets. So let’s examine Renee’s Twitter Timeline over the past few days. This will be a weekly (I hope) post titled Twitter Tuesday in which Twitter will be the theme of the post. Why? Well, I know some of you believe Twitter is the bottomless pit of all that is evil in the world, but it makes an excellent marketing tool if you know how to use it.  Of course, I haven’t included replies from other Tweeps, or my daily promotional posts because it’s more interesting that way. But when you tweet just promotional shit, people tend to ignore you. That’s not good marketing. You have to interact, show who you are a little. No, that doesn’t mean spending hours lost in the Twittersphere, it means few minutes here and there each week. These posts were over four days. Most of them were at night. I probably shouldn’t tweet at night. I don’t even enter the Twitter world until my daily “must do” work is done, but I try to post at least once each day. I’ve encountered some great writers I’d never have known otherwise, and gotten some valuable advice. I’ve also let the whole world know I’m crazy, so when I am rich and famous, my mental instability won’t shock anyone too much.
Here we go, selecting a random starting point:
It’s be kinda warmish, no? – Don’t type late at night or very early in the morning. This is how typos occur and you cannot take them back in Twitterland.
Interesting. I dance sober all the time. However, I’m much better at it when drunk. #fact
Apparently, sometimes while I write, I mouth the words and I stick my tongue out the whole time because it helps my concentration. Weird?
Okay, I’ll have to fire bomb the house & shave the dogs. I’m sick of these damn fleas? The bastards are worse than face flies
The question mark in the last post was a bonus. I meant to put it there where it makes no sense.
Creepy is sometimes a disguise for brilliance. But most of the time, it’s just creepy. – Deep thoughts, by Renee Miller. Feel free to quote me.
I can hear Elvis singing in my backyard. It’s nice.
I know. Writers are weird, eh?
Ken (bursting into the bathroom): What are you doing? Me: What does it look like I’m doing? Ken: Dunno, how long you been sitting there?
Mmmhmm….
Me too!
I never get books or flowers. 😦 Sometimes he buys me booze though. What’s he trying to say?
Good idea. Maybe a rest too. 😉
I kill anything that grows except weeds. Not on purpose.
Oh, and kids. I’ve managed to keep them alive so far too.
Bookmarks? My daughter has an obsession with them.
Actually he avoids drinking with me. Says I’m embarrassing or something stupid like that. Pfft.
Well all these child welfare laws help me make sure to water and feed them properly, so…
Jeeze, and I thought one cat was bad.
I should never have let that anal asshole in my brain stop to write a new outline this WIP. Now I can’t focus on the damn thing. Grrr.
I have many pens and I get really excited over pretty/rare/shiny/new/cool pens.
1)I know. 2)I’m aware.
But in a good way.
Ha! I sleep like the dead…except for the little bugger who insists on waking me hourly. But we can sedate her.
Which one? The apocalypse one I left for a bit. Need to think on it. I’m working on a paranormal one now.
It’s more like a play on “Is there a god? If so, which one is THE God?” But in a really sarcastic, funny style.
That tells you absolutely nothing, doesn’t it.
Yeah. Have you read Jack? It’s similar to that in voice, closer to my own natural way of antagonizing people.
Oh and erotica, it’s kinda taken an erotic turn. Not so that it overwhelms the plot, but it’s there. Lots of it.
No? Wow, I thought I’d used every reader possible for that one. 🙂 I changed the POV on the last edit, so it’s still icky.
I don’t know about literary….
Jack? Sure. Don’t worry about edits though. I’d love feedback on plot and characters. The basic bits I’m working on slowly.
I’m not so sure I’m that skilled at erotic, but it sure is fun to write.
Really? I just couldn’t seem to relate to her. Weird.
I liked the plot, but I wonder how much is “his” and how much was added. I just didn’t like her as much as others do.
You know it would be a lot easier to earn a paycheck if the damn site I’m writing for actually worked as it should. Grrr.
That’s an awful lot of sirens. I don’t like it.
There’s a god of flatulence? Are you shitting me?
So, a fish-fry in this windy nonsense is a great idea, no? Better tie the kids firmly to the tables.
Me too! I hope everyone else gets excited too. 😉
Thanks. I appreciate that. Once I have a better date, I’ll be annoying the shit out of everyone with my tweets.
Mmmm, Coffeee, it’d be an ugly morning without you.
A fine fuck you if I ever saw one. http://bit.ly/r7k46X The Write Agenda needs to climb back into its dark hole.
He never says anything but good things, does he?
Me: I’m stalk-worthy. Courtney: Um..not really. You just write. Me: I’m totally stalk-worthy. Go to bed.
I’m kinda attracted to them too…
Wait…lust is bad?
In my world, there is no such thing as TMI.
You’ve actually had to ask that question? Wow.
Usually when I have a what’s in your pants moment, it’s not in a lustful way.
I dream of Xena.
I don’t know what kind of girls live around you, but around here we’re pretty sure what’s in their pants.
Of course, there has been speculations about my pants, but I freely admit to having balls. 😉
The Clive-stache? I’m gonna say nay. I think it looks kinda pornstar -ish. He’s still hot as shit even with the silly thing
Just as long as everyone knows.
I was just teasing. But really, if you ever have one of those moments, you’ve probably been awake way too long.
Athena is like 100 Xena’s. When I grow up, I’m going to be a warrior too.
There is no single cause for all the world’s problems. That’s the problem.
My hand-eye coordination is rather sketchy, and I do love a big, long…pointy weapon. So I’m gonna go with sword.
Yes, we old ones sometimes retain some of the shit we learn. 😉
I might have one of those really cool axe things for backup. Oh, and a tiny knife. Tiny knives are awesome.
A horse? I don’t need a horse nowadays do I? I was thinking something motorized and not likely to bite me.
True, but with the poop-and-scoop bylaws around here, I’d have to have a second horse to carry the by-products, no?
Excellent point. My horse could poop wherever she wished.
Fine? (slice) There’s your fine.
Horse diapers? Seriously? I’ll have to hire a lackey to change those diapers. But, my bad self would have lots of those.
Titanium. I like that. Would it run on gas? Gas is like crazy expensive.
Cool. But what would the generator run on?
Throwing knives. Yes.
I want a lion. Ain’t no one gonna mess with a chick on a lion.
No, sadly the porn-stache is a no-no for every man…and woman.
Poison tipped arrows are all the rage with badasses. Is your aim good? Cause I need to know whether to ride in front or behind.
That sounds very complicated and possibly easy for me to mess up.
What’s unreasonable about that?
Of course you will.
Lions can totally be trained.
I’m angry at him just for having a name like Silas.
Come on, you know zombies aren’t real. Besides, apocalypse? Pfft.
No one can kill Clive. Lord Silas shall experience much pain.
Fairies are totally real, but zombies make no sense at all.
Yes, but they’d never be able to organize, with the braindeadness and all.
Ah, I see. Well then, I need to find me some science types to find a cure. It’s probably something simple like garlic or vodka.
We’ll have to steal us some and carry them off on our lion and horse.
My seduction skills are rather rusty. But I’m not above getting them drunk and taking advantage of them.
Well, we better make sure they’re cute scientists. I never get to have my way with anything. #excited
Vaccine first. Of course.
So, there’s the persona my Twitter feed puts out into the world. I have to admit, I giggled once or twice reading these out of context. But as I tweeted, TMI doesn’t exist in my world. Should it? Probably. What’s probably frightening to many is that this is what it’s like inside my head. Just a bunch of random tweets. 
Now, you pick five consecutive tweets from your feed and post them in the comments. I would like to be amused by you.
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5 thoughts on “Twitter Tuesday

  1. I don't tweet enough to be interesting, but I am absolutely in LOVE with your tweets. They're funny and shocking and they make me smile.I often want to reply to your tweets, but half the time I'm reading them on the fly so I wouldn't be there to respond should you care to grace me with a cracking retort.I can see it now. You'd say something insightful. I say something clever. You respond. And then…crickets.You'd likely throw darts at my picture or tell Mike what a cow I am.Knowing Mike…he'd probably agree.

  2. Renee Miller says:

    Haha. I'm glad you find them amusing. I just remove the filter when I do go on Twitter and it's much more fun. Don't worry, I'm often met with crickets. What usually happens is a post a couple of links, reply with smart little comments to other tweets and leave for the day. The next morning I get emails with the replies. So…yeah. The other night I was supposed to be editing and of course, I didn't really want to so I was on Twitter for an hour. That's almost unheard of. But as you can see, I had lots of fun. I can't wait to get my lion. And I'd never call you a cow. Besides, you're far more disciplined than I, so I'd never expect a reply right away.

  3. Renee Miller says:

    "a post a couple of…"??? I post. I. Me. Not "a". Jeepers.

  4. Okay, from now on when I see your tweets, I'll drop a reply even if I know I won't be on long. At least you'll know I loves ya. 🙂

  5. Renee Miller says:

    It's far more important that I feel the love than get an immediate reply. I'm very emotionally needy and require constant reassurance that I am worthy and…yeah, that's a bunch of bullshit. I'll talk to myself if I have to. 😉 But do reply when the urge strikes you.

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Renee

Renee

I like to write stuff. Sometimes it's funny. I've published some novels and short fiction. I also battle an addiction to cake and potato chips, and I sometimes have inappropriate fantasies involving Kevin Spacey.

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