I might have mentioned once or a hundred times that I freelance for websites to pay the bills. Now, usually I write exciting articles on parenting, gardening and fixing shit around the house. But since I started writing for Top5, I’ve gotten some more interesting assignments. BACON assignments. This is my article about how idiots waste good bacon.

Top 5 Most Bizarre Uses of Bacon | Top5.com.

It’s really a crying shame. I shed more than a few tears writing this one. I mean, soap? Seriously? And a lamp? Once you shellac that shit, you can’t eat it. *sniff* The moral of this article: Don’t waste bacon.