You’re All Nuts, but Apparently So Am I So It’s All Good

My favorite thing about blogging is going through my stats. I like to look up search terms mostly, because it’s really fascinating to see how people find my blog. I’ve been making note of the most interesting search terms that led folks here to the Edge, and guys, if any of you used these, you might be a tad strange… but considering those terms brought you here, I suppose I’m a little strange too.

The term “writers are weird” was searched many, many times, and Google said, “Writers and weird? Well, here’s where you need to be.”

This term was also used in a few more versions, like “Why are writers so weird?” Not so bad, but I have to wonder at folks searching such a term. Are you looking for validation for your own weirdness? Do you know a weird writer? Do you wish you were weird? Are you trying not to be weird? Whatever your reasons, I hope you’re glad it brought you here to me. If you’re not, I suppose it sucks to be you, right?

Love Interests

Okay, so this is the most searched term that seems to direct people here, which is hilarious to me. There are a few versions of it, including:

love interest in ya fiction

writing “love interests”

character love interest

creating a love interest

my character and interests

The first one made me laugh out loud. “in ya fiction” Jesus… funny shit. I hope that first of all, the person who typed “in ya fiction” is not a writer, and second, that the rest of you found what you were hoping to find. I suppose I have a few posts dedicated to love, romance and character, so there might be at least one useful thing for everyone to take away. If not… well that’s how shit rolls.

I think the one that puzzled me most is “she is definitely inhuman.” It was searched more than once, guys. Google said, “Yes, I agree.” and brought them here. I don’t even know what to do with that.   

Of course, that brings me to the WTF? search terms, and there are many. I’ll give you the top seven:

  1. art by the time you’re writing renee (I don’t even know what this means)
  2. edge rita sex (I’m going to blame Rita Webb for this one, I think. Unless some random Rita is having edgy sex somewhere on the Interwebs. If so, someone’s pretty disappointed in what they found…)
  3. np ilscm 2013  (Anyone? I searched this myself and got a big fat nothing.)
  4. is incest an element of fiction (The short answer: No.)
  5. is pantsing a crime (Depends on whether we’re talking about writing or forcing someone to flash people.)
  6. jack lalane told his wife your to pretty to smoke  (I’m pretty sure this person didn’t get what they were looking for, blame Jack)
  7. jack white sociopath (Jack Murphy is still causing some problems, apparently)

Near the bottom of the list was “tattoos for women that aren’t cliché” which made me think of the post in which I revealed my “Fuck it” tattoo and I wonder how that was received. It’s not cliché, but is it what this searcher was hoping to find?

These search terms probably pale in comparison to what you’d find in a writer’s browser history. Last week I did a massive search on terms like “Gay animals” and “homosexual wildlife” so I can only guess what an uninformed person might glean from that. By the way, said terms give you a very enlightening journey through the Internet. I also searched “bacon lingerie,” “serial killers,” “immortality” and “how to avoid getting killed on a first date.”

While writing Jack and In the Bones, I searched things like “The perfect crime,” “fire starting,” “staging suicides” and “how to commit a crime without getting caught.” Oh and we can’t forget the “sexual deviance” searches. That was fun. If there are government entities tracking our movements (and you all know there are), I wonder how often you can search this stuff before their little sensors go “Holy fuck, we have a psycho!” Must be disappointing to have a red flag waved only to find it’s some pajama-wearing nerd type messing around in her garage.


7 thoughts on “You’re All Nuts, but Apparently So Am I So It’s All Good

  1. LOL Seems your blog is definitely the place to go for people who get creative with their search terms. And maybe suffer a short-circuit of two in the process. Not that I know what I’m talking about. YOU CAN’T SHORT CIRCUIT THIS CYBORG, biatch!


    I think the lost mind who typed “love interest in ya fiction” meant YA as in young-adult fiction. As if there’s YA without love interests. Twisting heart-strings are critical to YA fiction, more than structure, good characters and a theme that makes sense. 🙂

  2. Lol, I didn’t even consider “YA” so now who’s crazy? And now that I know they were looking for YA… did they ever come to the wrong place. 😉

  3. I try not to look at my stats. There are some really creepy people out there. The last time I checked there was a LOT of searches for “sex with chickens”. All of the searches came from the Middle East. :shakes head:

  4. My biggest mistake was searching Wet Wet Wet – the name of a band a decade or so ago for my daughter who liked them. Within seconds my screen was bombarded by porn and I learnt more than I wanted to know. Having said that, those who search my site seem fairly normal. Should I be pleased? Though I did get more than a few hits for Dr Pleasure’s Love Shop 🙂

  5. You should be pleased, but it’s more amusing when they use odd search terms. I can only imagine what “Wet Wet Wet” got you. 🙂

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