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Guest Bloggers

7

June 11, 2014 by Renee

So you want guest writers for your blog. What do you do? You let them know. Maybe with a post or a little thing in the sidebar that says something like “Want to guest blog? Here’s how.” Either way, you invite people to write shit for you. Fantastic idea. Make sure you have a link to what you want, sort of like guidelines.

What? You don’t have those? Meh, I guess it’ll be okay. I mean, surely the rest of the Internet can read your mind, right? It’s obvious your blog isn’t meant for adults alone, right? So let’s move on then.

Let’s say a writer offers to write something, because you ask for tips on writing or something book/publishing related. She says “Sure. I can write something, but there might be mild profanity.”

Okay, here’s the important part of this post:

If you’re not okay with profanity, you should decline said guest post. But no, you’re like “Cool, write away.”

So the writer sends you the post and your panties become firmly entrenched in your ass because of the profanity she promised would be there. What do you do? You send her an email asking her to remove the profanity. Wait… what? You really did that? Oy.

Then she responds that she will not remove it and suggests you discard the blog post if it offends you. You, of course, do that. Wait… you didn’t? Oh my shit, you didn’t engage in a mini email debate about the severity of profanity? You didn’t say something like “Why offend fellow writers who would otherwise really appreciate your tips?” God, you really are an asshole.

Yes, I called you an asshole, but I’ll explain, because I know you’re wondering. Fellow writers, real, honest-to-God, professional writers, would not condone censoring anything to avoid causing offense. They might voice their opinion of profanity. They might even say “The f-bombs are offensive” but they would NEVER ask a writer to remove them simply to ensure their delicate sensibilities aren’t offended.

And let’s remember, there were no guidelines given. You didn’t say “No profanity.” What do we do about that? Well, we say:

Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

You’re right, profanity isn’t necessary. Sometimes it’s even over the top. But every swear word is just that: A WORD. It’s letters put together to make a sound. That sound is a word. Like every other word. You give it power when you get all bent out of shape about it. If you really have a problem with a writer who colors her posts with a few fucks and shits, then make this clear when you ask for guest bloggers.

This is a true story, although it’s not my true story. I’m sharing with all of you, because it bothers me when someone is made to feel like they’re going straight to Hell for word choices. If you invite guests to write blog posts, be up front about the content and your guidelines. I like to swear, and I like to write using a shit ton of profanities, but I never do so when the site I’m writing for asks me not to. See, I don’t have to go around offending people, although I must admit it can be great fun. I have the option of not writing for a particular site/blog, and I base that decision on their guidelines. If I choose to write, I know the rules. There’s no confusion and no need to ask people to not write like they always do. No need to trade insults or accusations. It’s simple.

And if your readers are offended by “Fuck” they’re probably going to be just as kerfluffled over ass, shit, and cock. Cock is usually pretty startling. I daresay it’s even more startling than fuck sometimes, particularly when you blend it with ass, fuck and shit. Wow, there’s a profanity cocktail with a few possibilities.

Sorry, tangent.

Do I invite bloggers to post here? Not usually. If I did, I’d ask only that you be real. I’m offended by folks with egos bigger than my own. 😉

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7 thoughts on “Guest Bloggers

  1. andrea_luhman says:

    I’m with you, what you said is awesome. Very funny.

  2. Andrew says:

    Yeah, guidelines should be clearly stated.
    Always.
    So… was that “profanity cocktail” pun on purpose?
    (And remember, always take credit for the puns.)

  3. Renee says:

    Yes, the pun was on purpose. 😉

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Renee

Renee

I like to write stuff. Sometimes it's funny. I've published some novels and short fiction. I also battle an addiction to cake and potato chips, and I sometimes have inappropriate fantasies involving Kevin Spacey.

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