The premiere of the fifth season of The Walking Dead is just around the corner. I don’t even need the Internet to tell me this, as my teenage daughter becomes increasingly giddy, reminding me that “It’s almost time” every other day. I have to say the trailer for Season 5 of The Walking Dead is pretty awesome. They’ve packed so much tension into it—is Gareth Governor-worthy or better and Beth is alive (!!) and Rick looks unstable (again)—but will we be disappointed with what actually happens? Well, here’s my two cents about what will happen.

Speaking of villains…

The Governor was an epic character. I cried when he died. (Shut up.) Actually, I was pretty depressed when he did that waffling between good and bad, and cheered when he chose the dark side. Anyway, now that he’s gone, we need something more maniacal than mindless reanimated corpses. Hello, Gareth.

He has that crazy gleam, but also something undefinable that makes me hope we’ve got something even more devious and evil than the Governor this season. Please don’t let us down.

Or…

Is Mary going to be the villain who replaces the Governor? I’m keeping my eye on her.

Will Glenn finally die?

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve been waiting for Glenn’s whiny bitch ass to die for like three seasons. Sorry, Glenn fans, but when a character does nothing but moan and cry about his love life, or get sick for an entire season, then bitches and moans the minute he feels well enough to do so, he becomes a yawn. Sure he went sort of badass last season, but as soon as he found Maggie, she sucked the awesome right out of that shit. In the trailer for season 5, they show someone about to hit Glenn with a bat and I got tingles. Who’s willing to bet he’s the first casualty? A girl can dream.

A little Hannibal action?

Ever since the group arrived at Terminus, fans have speculated whether or not the inhabitants of this safe haven were cannibals. It’d be staying true to the comic books (sort of), by introducing the Hunters story arc into the mix. If this isn’t the case, why would the writers hint so heavily at it? That’d mean they’re just cruel fuckers, right? I mean, what the hell was Mary cooking if it wasn’t humans? It’d make sense they’d have to turn on each other eventually. Hunting people is soooo much easier than hunting animals, am I right? I’m encouraged by the scene in the trailer where they’re all wearing bloody smocks. *maniacal laughter*

We’re all atwitter over the very idea that this show finally goes as dark as it should, but will the writers let us down yet again?

Daryl… dead…?

So, Glenn, fine. Take him. But the Daryl’s possible death cliffhanger has already been done and should never happen again. Yet the season 5 promo stuff shows the group on Washington (at least I think it’s Washington), and there’s a van going off a bridge. I’ve read various predictions that say Daryl is inside. All I have to say on that is, he better not be. At this point, he’s one of the only reasons I’m still watching. (That and the possibility that Rick will beat Carl’s spoiled ass just once) And also, who else is over this Daryl-Carol not-quite-a-romance thing? You can’t be in love with someone whose name rhymes with yours. It’s just not done.

Daryl and Beth? Yes, please. Or Daryl and anyone but Carol. Perhaps Daryl and Eugene…

Will Rick snap… again?

And will it be more epic than ripping out someone’s throat with his teeth? Oh God, I hope so. They’ve played on Rick’s dark side for so long, but every time it seems he’s going to unleash it, they pull him back and he returns to good guy done wrong who just needs a break. Pfft. I’m over it. Give the man some teeth (pun intended) and let him leave a trail of more than just dead walkers in his wake.

How long will they be in the train car?

I feel it’s necessary for fans of the show to consider just how long we’ll be forced to watch the group try to escape the train car. Will it last most of the season, with the last couple of episodes containing all the shit we saw in the trailer? Because if it does, boo, writers. Just boo.

Carol turns from murderer to… savior?

Carol is a confusing character for me. I alternate between being sick of her and rooting for her. I think Season 5 might just be Carol’s chance to shine (sans Daryl, though). Some speculate that she sneaks into Terminus and may be the group’s savior, but I’m not sure. Either way, I think Carol’s character will change in a big way… or she’ll die. Whatever.

Beth is alive but…

The promo trailer for season 5 seems to confirm Beth is alive, and I’m relieved. I mean, I just started to like her in season 4 and there’s Daryl. A man has needs and the bastards teased us with the two of them for long enough. She can stop with the damn singing any time, though. Seriously, Beth. Stop it.

Will the Doctor survive?

Not that doctor, although how cool would that be? Okay, moving on.

I’m talking about Eugene. Is it just me, or does he look like he could snap at any minute? Just me? Okay. So anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if the writers handed the survivors a ray of hope (remember, Eugene knows about a cure or how to get to a cure or something like that), and then rip it away by having Eugene served as the main course at Terminus… or he might just lose a fight with a zombie. Who knows? No one. All I know for sure is I’m not getting too attached to Eugene.

Rick and Michonne?

I don’t see a love story happening here, and you shouldn’t either. Just stop these rumors right now.

Rick and Michonne may use each other to scratch an itch, but the writer in me doesn’t see the chemistry between them that’s required for an epic love story. Michonne’s level of badassery needs someone with a lot less baggage and emotional breakdowns than Rick, and Rick needs someone who can’t kick his ass so easily. I mean, come on. Lori carried his balls in her purse for how long? Let’s give Rick a relationship where he can finally be the man.

Bob will die.

This season I predict a lot of folks will die. Because there are a lot of major characters who MUST stay alive, some not so major ones will have to go. Bob is one of those. Who is Bob? That’s exactly why he’ll probably check out before Season 6. I think Sasha might go too. Every time I see a scene with either of them, I wonder why they’re still there? What purpose do they serve? God, they’re boring.

So that’s it. Those are all the predictions/opinions I have about Season 5 of The Walking Dead. I was growing pretty tired of the show between Seasons 3 and 4, but this new season is full of potential. I’m choosing to be optimistic about it all and believe the writers won’t chicken out this time and take the show to the dark territory logic (and the comic books) says it should go.