November 3, 2014 by Renee
First, let’s get the bad news out of the way. I’m not doing NaNoWriMo after all. Previous commitments, day job stuff, projects already in progress, a book release, and a shit ton of edits coming my way has made me seriously reconsider the time I have available. I’m only mildly masochistic, so I’m not going to add the stress of writing 1600 words a day on an entirely new project to the mix. I know, I’ve let you all down (heavy sarcasm right there), but I’ll be rooting everyone on right here on the sidelines. I’ll still be writing every day too, just not counting all the words. *winky face*
Now, to today’s thoughts and such.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve seen a lot of chatter online about women’s Halloween costumes being slutty. Hmm. I’ve heard the same types of comments in real life for, like, EVER. There are a few memes floating around about how we can make any costume sexy by making sure a bit of leg and cleavage is showing. True. So what? Maybe I like being a sexy piece of shit, or a hot tampon. How does that hurt you in any way?
Memes like this:
And this (shared in a non-judgy way by the hilarious Allison M. Dickson):
irritate the shit out of me sometimes. Another friend (Travis Mohrman, who is totally supportive of the slutty costume brigade, by the way) on Facebook shared this entertaining blog post, which made me smile. This passage in particular, though:
“Every year around Halloween, I see some columnist or blogger or other talk about how ‘Halloween is just an excuse for girls and women to whore it up all night,'” writes nicolechat on a post at Feministing.com. “But every time I read that, I think to myself, so what? What’s wrong with having a night where we can say ‘This is my body, and I’m not ashamed of it, or of using it to express my sexuality.'”
Caused me to say to myself, “Renee, you should talk about this. A rant maybe?” Yes. Because “nicolechat” is absolutely right. “Whore it up”? Seriously? Are we still saying things like that in 2014? There’s a huge difference between a whore/slut and a woman who is simply embracing her sexuality. Why is it that a woman displaying confidence by showing off the body she was blessed with is considered slutty or immoral? And this isn’t just men shaming these women. It’s other women too. I know firsthand how immature women can be, because I love me some sexy costumes.
and let me share this year’s Halloween costume too:
This is a silly thing, I know. I mean, people are allowed to have their opinions, and if I’m truly confident, it shouldn’t bother me that they think I give away free blowjobs to the first guy to pay me any attention, or spread my legs for a few shots of tequila simply because of the way I’m dressed.
Yes, it should bother me. I have two daughters who struggle with self-esteem every day. Their bodies are changing and they’re not sure what to make of it all. Hearing things like this encourages my daughters (and everyone else’s) to think their bodies are shameful, that confidence is somehow a bad thing. For my daughters, I will be offended. I want them to grow into women who love themselves and other women enough to avoid judging them based on superficial things like clothes or lifestyle choices. It’s none of anyone’s business what you do with your body as long as you’re not hurting anyone. So, you want to be a true whore and trade sex for cash? Your life. Your body. Not my choice, but I’m not living your life, so there you have it. I won’t be happy if my daughters choose such a life, but I won’t love them any less, and it won’t make them any less valuable as individuals. If you want to dress in tight skirts and low-cut tops? Go for it. I’m jealous of your ample bosom, but I will not judge you as a bad person because you’re rubbing it in my face. I love you for having the confidence to do so.
There is nothing wrong with showing some leg, or some cleavage, or even a little sexy back action. Flaunt what you got, while you’ve got it, I always say. As long as you aren’t flashing your vag, or displaying nipple or ass crack (because unless you live somewhere that allows such things, you’ll be arrested for indecency or something), who the fuck is anyone to judge you? Embrace your sexuality, your body, and screw the rest of them (Not literally… unless that’s your thing, because it’s your body and you can do what you want with it, as long as it’s not with my husband). The more women that embrace their bodies, and stop judging other women who do the same, the less slut shaming we’ll see happening. The less slut shaming we see, the better sex EVERYONE will have. Imagine a woman free of inhibitions, free of self-doubt, self-loathing, and all the other negative self things that destroy a woman’s soul. That woman will be happy, confident, and as a result, her children (if she has any) will be the same. Also, think of the sex. Mind blowing. That’s what. I promise.
Anyway, my point is I am sick of seeing women judged because they do as they please with their bodies. You’re going to call me a slut because I’m confident enough to show it all off now and then? If a man wore a costume displaying his package (even if said package is wrapped up tight), he’d be funny. Amusing. Sure, he might get some negative feedback, but people wouldn’t judge him as cruelly as they’d judge a woman for a similar costume. That’s just stupid.
I’m taking the power out of the words “slutty” and “whore” by embracing them. I’m a total whore/slut. And what? These words, in my opinion, are not used the same way they were when they were first uttered. Now, we use them when someone looks sexy and confident. I look like a whore you say? Why, thank you. My ass is pretty awesome.
Be proud of yourself and your body, and show it, you fantastic little slut.