Being Offended Is the New Cool

balls meme

Let’s talk about words. All the words. Swear words, slang, regular words that the masses have decided we’re not allowed to use anymore, and their replacements. All the fucking words, man. I love them. Even the tricky ones like cunt, whore, and yes, even retard. While some of these words bother me for personal reasons, I can’t hate any of them, because each one is full of history, emotion and POWER. I’m a writer. I will use whatever word gives what I’m writing the proper emotion, and this means using the words I choose not to use in real life.

Why shouldn’t this offend you? You have the right to feel how you want to feel, but think twice before publicly shaming someone for offending you. When I use a word you find offensive, and you scold me or worse for using it, you are giving ME your power. You’re giving the word you hate power. The only person not getting any power is you.

I like profanity, as you all know, and I use it frequently. People are offended by this sometimes. I don’t really give a fuck, but sometimes their offense at my language offends me. I want to tell them to fuck off. Get off their stupid pedestal, and join the real world. Sometimes I do tell them that. Usually I don’t, because fuck them. Why can’t I love all the words, including the nasty, dirty, messy ones? It’s not just words, though. In the book world, even ideas, thoughts, themes, etc. offend people. One of my besties, Katrina Monroe, has a new book out. (shameless promotion in 3…2…1…) Sacrificial Lamb Cake is a brilliant, witty, fun read that I will always love. Yes, it’s blasphemous, but that much is clear if you read the damn cover blurb. Yet, she gets negative reviews because someone either didn’t read the blurb, or did and decided to read it anyway, and their wittle feelings were hurt.

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Why would you, someone claiming to be a Christian, read a book that STATES the messiah is a lesbian RIGHT ON THE COVER? Is it not pretty likely you’re going to hate this book? It’s not just her either. Allison M. Dickson, an extremely talented author of deliciously disgusting horror novels, has received a slew of negative reviews because of the nasty shit her characters think and do. It’s horror! What do you expect? I’ve had folks refuse to rate books, or knock stars from their ratings, because they don’t like the “rough language.” It’s offensive. Oh, muffin.

This post is potentially offensive to anyone who is easily offended, so if you’re one of those people, stop reading. Or keep reading if you need your “I’m a self-righteous douchebag” fix.

Personally, I find it astonishing that we are all still offended by what is essentially a bunch of letters. I am always shocked when someone gets bent out of shape over holiday greetings, celebrations, phrases, etc. Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there! Now I’ve pissed off anyone who hasn’t had a child, can’t have a child, has lost a child, or doesn’t want a child at all, as well as the ones who hate their mothers, or were abandoned by their moms, or lost their moms. Shit, it’s all so exhausting.

Merry Christmas pisses off people who don’t celebrate Christmas, but Happy Holidays pisses off the Christians. And for the love of God, don’t you ever use “Xmas”, you lazy, insensitive motherfucker. Happy Chocolate Bunny Day pisses off the folks who know Easter isn’t about candy and bunnies. Well, it is in my house, because I’m not a Christian. So, um, yeah. You can wish me a happy Easter or a Merry Christmas. I’ll say thanks, even if I’m not religious, because I appreciate that the greeting came from a good place. You’re not trying to oppress me or convert me, or whatever… are you? Oh, you crafty little bitch.

see waht you did

But this is just the tip of the iceberg. Let’s take a little peek at a few of the most common words, phrases, etc. we’re not allowed to say online anymore, because they’re offensive to someone or trigger some traumatic event. These things offend readers too, so pay attention authors.

  • Religious holiday greetings. Just don’t wish anyone anything. It’s the only way you’ll never offend anyone.
  • Anything relating to disabilities (mental or physical), including, but not limited to retard, spaz, nutter, schizoid. Don’t joke about being crazy, because some people are.
  • Anything relating to whatever race/ethnicity you are NOT. Mostly white folks aren’t allowed to utter anything remotely offensive in this area. No. Not even if you’re offended by people of other races or ethnicities lumping all white folks into a heap of what they refer to as privileged, racist know-nothings bent on keeping every other culture in the minority. Not even then. Doesn’t matter if you’re not at all like that. Shut up.
  • Blasphemy, which includes the words, but is not limited to Jesus, Christ, a combination of the former, God, Jesus-Mary-and-Joseph, and also avoid any ideology or phrases that question anything regarding these religious figures.
  • Cunt, twat, pussy or anything relating to female genitalia. These are highly offensive to women, particularly pussy and cunt (mostly to women who are pussies, but whatever). The good news is as far as I can see, in most circles; you can use the shit out of penis-related slang. It’s okay. The boys don’t seem to mind. Call that asshole a cocksucker, dickhead, knob, or whatever floats your pissed off boat.
  • Bastard. Because some of us don’t come from married parents, you insensitive fuck.
  • Whore, slut, etc. Because… I don’t know. I use these all the time.
  • Fuck. Because fuck is aggressive and by fucking God, we don’t want to be perceived as aggressive.
  • Any words relating to sexual orientation unless said words are related to YOUR sexual orientation. If you’re not queer, you can’t say queer.
  • The truth. No one wants to know the truth.
  • Liars. No one likes a liar.

This isn’t even a complete list of what offends people in 2015, because you jerks keep adding shit every damn day. I can’t keep up. And I should add that some of the above bothers me too, but I don’t judge anyone who uses any of it, because who the fuck cares? They have the right to say what they want to say, and I have the right to not like it. I don’t have to be a drama queen about it, and I don’t think I’m helping anyone by telling them their words hurt me.

I’m not entirely sure why being offended is basically a fad, but I’m thinking we have become addicted to that wonderful self-righteous glow that being offended leaves behind.

I mean, how awesome does it feel to knock some cocky prick down a peg or three, because he uses a word or phrase that causes us discomfort or pain? I don’t care the context he used it in, or even if it was meant to be offensive or not, I am going to rip that fucker a new one. Yeah, that shit feels good.

But let’s think about this: When you CHOOSE to be offended by what someone writes online or in a book, or even in real life, (and make no mistake, it’s a choice) you also CHOOSE to be a victim.


Hmm. Not so cool now, eh?

Yes, yes, I know that some words are emotional triggers for people. But if we have to stop using words because it brings back an emotional trauma for this person or that, then I quit humaning. It’s over. I am sorry if you have shit in your past that hurts. I’m sorry if it more than hurts. It’s awful that you’ve had to endure any heartache or trauma. It sucks, but when you try to make other people change to alleviate your pain, instead of finding a way to prevent that pain from consuming you, you’re choosing to stay in the role of victim and you’re giving power to the words you’re trying to make everyone else stop using. The more power a word has, the less likely it’ll go away.

And I know that some people online use certain words in a negative manner. They intentionally try to hurt you, but hey, you don’t have to be their victim. Don’t give power to their words by being offended. People are going to say what they want. They’re going to like what they like. How does their preferences, be it words or actions, affect you? In most situations, it doesn’t affect you at all, unless you want it to.

If you don’t like violence, don’t read horror, crime, suspense, or any genre that generally includes violence.

Don’t like swear words? Don’t use them. If you can’t handle other people using them, you should probably leave the Internet. Bye.

If you don’t like the idea of Satan being a good guy, or Mary being a crack whore, or the savior of mankind being gay, then don’t read books that explore those themes.

I see some of you are having trouble getting what I’m saying here. It’s okay, I know I’m rambly. I’ll just make it real simple:

Stop being a pussy. It’s not cool.

14 thoughts on “Being Offended Is the New Cool

  1. This is the best thing I will read today/ever. You have said all of the things I’m afraid to say because I might offend someone…..

  2. Reading this blog is like a slap to the face. After years of working with my psychic and life coach, I’ve finally come to terms with my special needs mother abandoning us during the Winter Holiday. I’m going to spend the rest of the day making sure your reputation is destroyed and your life is ruined. I’m pretty sure this will make me feel much better.

      1. The gender neutral parent that adopted me after my mother left us died after dinner and a movie. Thanks for bringing that up. I’d call you a nasty word, but I believe all women are beautiful and I won’t degrade them with words.

  3. At least we don’t duel over every little offense anymore. I was doing some 16th century Paris research the other day and found it was common place to get challenged to a duel because you happened to, say, spit within six feet of some dude (noble) who found spitting offensive.

  4. I’m sorry about Roberto, Renee. The Institute has assured us that their new security procedures will prevent another escape. They’ll have him rounded up any day now.

  5. I haven’t laughed so hard in days! I can actually feel your rage pouring thru. Awesome! (to coin a cliché) You’re right, of course. People are walking land mines. If you accidently set one off by being yourself, you can console yourself by thanking g-d (don’t want to offend anyone) that you’re not them (or married to them, or going out with them), and that you can run away to where people aren’t such pussies. Whew . . .

    By the way, I was led to this by your delightfully bitchy article on Underground Book Reviews. I’ve just published one (Who hasn’t?), and your open-handed slap in the face was exactly what I needed. Keep up the honest writing.

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