It’s always fun to look up the search terms or keywords that bring folks to your blog. Some of them make no sense, but others can be revealing. So, I looked at the top search terms used to find this blog in 2017, and man, you all did not disappoint. Let’s begin:

Clitsporn…. What the fuck is this? Top of the list, kids. TOP. OF. THE. LIST.

Monster porn and Quickporn (apparently a website) were also in there. My blog is not porn, dicksmacks. I’ve written about it, though, I guess. Is that all it takes to send every perv seeking out porn sites over here? Well, I wish I’d though of it sooner. Porn, porn, porn. There. A few more clicks, right?

Elvis in Tweed: There were about five or six searches that used the words “Elvis” and “Tweed.”

Elvis is a big deal here, so I guess I’m doing my hometown proud.  Or something.

What I write in reply of whatever:

I don’t know what this means. Two people used this to find my blog. So, two people out there know what this means. I hope you all are reading this post and can explain.

Stop being an offended pussy: And I stand behind this statement, so it makes sense a search term like this would send a few kids this way. Hopefully, they stopped being offended pussies.

Katrina Monroe pussy porn:

Apparently, Katrina has a way more interesting day job than the rest of us.

Pussyeatingspace: One word. No spaces. Uh…

12 days of Edging: I don’t know what this means either. I’m assuming edging is like a crafting thing. Boy, were those guys disappointed, eh?

Ladybird books thieving bastards…

A bit of research revealed that Ladybird Books is actually a real publisher. And they’re thieving bastards. So.

Now you know.

I suppose I should work on my tags, make it all relevant. I mean, no one seemed to find this place by searching books, writing, or horror fiction. They didn’t even search my damn name.

WHY AREN’T I FAMOUS YET?!

But we all know I’m not fixing those tags. This is way more entertaining.